Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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