I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
