I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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