I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
operation have a gay friend backfired
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
