Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
