My brain says no but my pants say off.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
