No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
