pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
