Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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