My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
