I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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