that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
