I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
