Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
