This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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