i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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