My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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