you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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