I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
