To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
