If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
