youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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