Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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