I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
