Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
