Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
