did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
