i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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