I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize