you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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