Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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