ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
