She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
