hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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