He kissed a someone with a penis
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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