no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
