I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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