Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
