This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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