Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
