chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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