just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
