I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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