new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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