the condom got lost in my hair
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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