i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
