If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
