A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
