i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
