Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
