she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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