Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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