and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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