The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
