I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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