I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
