You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
