I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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